BREATHE.

Countering Stress and Depression by the Dalai Lama

2011-01-05T10:36:00.001-08:00

Countering Stress and Depression

by Dalai Lama on Wednesday, January 5, 2011 at 2:25am

At a fundamental level, as human beings, we are all the same; each one of us aspires to happiness and each one of us does not wish to suffer. This is why, whenever I have the opportunity, I try to draw people's attention to what as members of the human family we have in common and the deeply interconnected nature of our existence and welfare.

Today, there is increasing recognition, as well as a growing body of scientific evidence, that confirms the close connection between our own states of mind and our happiness. On the one hand, many of us live in societies that are very developed materially, yet among us are many people who are not very happy. Just underneath the beautiful surface of affluence there is a kind of mental unrest, leading to frustration, unnecessary quarrels, reliance on drugs or alcohol, and in the worst case, suicide. There is no guarantee that wealth alone can give you the joy or fulfilment that you seek. The same can be said of your friends too. When you are in an intense state of anger or hatred, even a very close friend appears to you as somehow frosty, or cold, distant, and annoying.

However, as human beings we are gifted with this wonderful human intelligence. Besides that, all human beings have the capacity to be very determined and to direct that strong sense of determination in whatever direction they like. So long as we remember that we have this marvellous gift of human intelligence and a capacity to develop determination and use it in positive ways, we will preserve our underlying mental health. Realizing we have this great human potential gives us a fundamental strength. This recognition can act as a mechanism that enables us to deal with any difficulty, no matter what situation we are facing, without losing hope or sinking into feelings of low self-esteem.

I write this as someone who lost his freedom at the age of 16, then lost his country at the age of 24. Consequently, I have lived in exile for more than 50 years during which we Tibetans have dedicated ourselves to keeping the Tibetan identity alive and preserving our culture and values. On most days the news from Tibet is heartbreaking, and yet none of these challenges gives grounds for giving up. One of the approaches that I personally find useful is to cultivate the thought: If the situation or problem is such that it can be remedied, then there is no need to worry about it. In other words, if there is a solution or a way out of the difficulty, you do not need to be overwhelmed by it. The appropriate action is to seek its solution. Then it is clearly more sensible to spend your energy focussing on the solution rather than worrying about the problem. Alternatively, if there is no solution, no possibility of resolution, then there is also no point in being worried about it, because you cannot do anything about it anyway. In that case, the sooner you accept this fact, the easier it will be for you. This formula, of course, implies directly confronting the problem and taking a realistic view. Otherwise you will be unable to find out whether or not there is a resolution to the problem

Taking a realistic view and cultivating a proper motivation can also shield you against feelings of fear and anxiety. If you develop a pure and sincere motivation, if you are motivated by a wish to help on the basis of kindness, compassion, and respect, then you can carry on any kind of work, in any field, and function more effectively with less fear or worry, not being afraid of what others think or whether you ultimately will be successful in reaching your goal. Even if you fail to achieve your goal, you can feel good about having made the effort. But with a bad motivation, people can praise you or you can achieve goals, but you still will not be happy.

Again, we may sometimes feel that our whole lives are unsatisfactory, we feel on the point of being overwhelmed by the difficulties that confront us. This happens to us all in varying degrees from time to time. When this occurs, it is vital that we make every effort to find a way of lifting our spirits. We can do this by recollecting our good fortune. We may, for example, be loved by someone; we may have certain talents; we may have received a good education; we may have our basic needs provided for - food to eat, clothes to wear, somewhere to live - we may have performed certain altruistic deeds in the past. We must take into consideration even the slightest positive aspect of our lives. For if we fail to find some way of uplifting ourselves, there is every danger of sinking further into our sense of powerlessness. This can lead us to believe that we have no capacity for doing good whatsoever. Thus we create the conditions of despair itself.

As a Buddhist monk I have learned that what principally upsets our inner peace is what we call disturbing emotions. All those thoughts, emotions, and mental events which reflect a negative or uncompassionate state of mind inevitably undermine our experience of inner peace. All our negative thoughts and emotions - such as hatred, anger, pride, lust, greed, envy, and so on - are considered to be sources of difficulty, to be disturbing. Negative thoughts and emotions are what obstruct our most basic aspiration - to be happy and to avoid suffering. When we act under their influence, we become oblivious to the impact our actions have on others: they are thus the cause of our destructive behaviour both toward others and to ourselves. Murder, scandal, and deceit all have their origin in disturbing emotions.

This inevitably gives rise to the question - can we train the mind? There are many methods by which to do this. Among these, in the Buddhist tradition, is a special instruction called mind training, which focuses on cultivating concern for others and turning adversity to advantage. It is this pattern of thought, transforming problems into happiness that has enabled the Tibetan people to maintain their dignity and spirit in the face of great difficulties. Indeed I have found this advice of great practical benefit in my own life.

A great Tibetan teacher of mind training once remarked that one of the mind’s most marvellous qualities is that it can be transformed. I have no doubt that those who attempt to transform their minds, overcome their disturbing emotions and achieve a sense of inner peace, will, over a period of time, notice a change in their mental attitudes and responses to people and events. Their minds will become more disciplined and positive. And I am sure they will find their own sense of happiness grow as they contribute to the greater happiness of others. I offer my prayers that everyone who makes this their goal will be blessed with success.

The Dalai Lama

December 31, 2010

Published in the Hindustan Times, India, on January 3rd, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy My Annual Thanksgiving Day Ode.

2010-11-24T07:43:00.000-08:00

Ode to Waking Up – 2010

By: Jonathan Pofsky

www.breathesomatics.com

We all start asleep

In the womb that we rest

Where nourishment comes freely

At one in the nest

And then the day comes

To meet this world anew

When the light hits our eyes

We awake as me, as you

To live in a world

That feels separate at first

We walk and talk our days

Some the best, some the worst

But we pick ourselves up

And wash off the dirt

To face life as it is

With these pants and this shirt

The clothes that cover up

Who we’re really inside

The formless quality of being

Expanding so far and so wide

Which cannot be contained

By a personality or name

It’s bigger than that

The open sky of this game

Where clouds always pass

Like thoughts and feelings too

Strong sensations we sense

Some familiar, some new

Each one to remind us

Where all forms start

The huge ocean of being

Of which we’re a part

Where it’s tempting to make

Me into the other

When we all are reflections

Each a sister, a brother

And when we’re asleep

We let war lead the way

Where every day is cloudy

Obscuring the sun’s every ray

That reaches our eyes

With all the same light

The timeless moment it hits us

Merging the day and the night

Where we’re restful and awake

And connected with truth

Grounded in the mystery

Where we’re all our own sleuth

Here to investigate

Who we are, why we’re here

The ultimate questions

We all love and all fear

But today is about thanks

And of course about giving

To offer our gratitude

To this life we’re all living

So as your prepare

To eat and to drink

Remember one thing

As you breathe and you blink

We are not in control

We are not the master

When we wake up to this truth

We can avert a disaster

And live more in harmony

With ease and in peace

Where we know who we are

In this body that we lease

And give back in the end

When its time to return

To the place where we rest

In every lesson we learn

So when we are home

Our one true abode

We can open our eyes

Waking up, this year’s ode

Befriending Stress Article: Part 4 of 4

2010-11-23T10:36:00.001-08:00

Taking Action

The final step asks you what the appropriate actions would be for you to help transform your stress response. Once you have greeted your experience and relaxed with it in the body, the right conditions have been created to listen within. Notice if an internal voice is guiding you towards a particular action to take. Trust that even if you are unable to rid yourself completely of stress in the moment, there is an action that will help you take care of yourself as you continue onward through your day. Perhaps you need to remove yourself from a stressful situation for a while, take a walk, focus on your breath as you work, call a friend, etc. Setting a short-term goal, making a list, or other organizing efforts can also be effective ways of addressing the stressful situation in a new way. Eventually, creating a long-term stress relief plan will be necessary. Most importantly, know your stress triggers and establish a new relationship with them as you continue to apply the attitudes of friendliness and objectivity you have cultivated.

One especially important action can be to reframe a difficult thought that is perpetuating your stress. Take note of the thought that seems to trigger your stress. Notice how it may be filled with overgeneralizations, exaggerations, or restrictions. Dispute this irrational thought with one that bears more truth. For example, say I keep thinking, “Why is everything always so hard for me?” A more rational and accurate response would be “There are times when some things come easy. This might not be one of them but I can do my best right now and see how it turns out.” When we extinguish the power of these dysfunctional and stress-inducing thoughts with more rational, logical, and compassionate thinking, we free ourselves from the destructive path of thinking. Notice how it feels to move forward with thinking that more accurately represents the situation at hand. More details on how to practice this can be found in The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook (for Depression or for Anxiety) or The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook.

The Path

This process is about cultivating compassionate awareness, harmonious relationships, and trusting the wisdom you have within you. You are so much more than your stressful thoughts, feelings, and sensations. So why limit yourself to this superficial lens of viewing the world. Open yourself to yourself in a kind embodied way. The only way out of stress is to move through it. This is not magic but a deeper way of relating with our present experience. Over time, this process will become more internalized and will take less time. In the beginning, you may have to “try it on” for a while and even though it may feel clunky, you are beginning a new way of responding to your stress that will have great benefit. But don’t believe me. Try it out and see for yourself. If you find benefit, then you have found an effective path in revolutionizing your responses to stress.

Befriending Stress Article: Part 3 of 4

2010-11-10T08:01:00.000-08:00

Being With

After meeting and greeting our stress with a friendly awareness, the next step to transforming your stress responses invites you to dive into the realm of sensation in the body. Make a direct link with your most immediate and obvious sensation in your body. Even if it is painful or uncomfortable, make your best efforts to stay with it. Let yourself breathe and relax with the sensations. Feel the breath in your belly and soften its hard edges. It is important here to let go of any agenda to get rid of the sensations or fix something. They will dissolve on their own as you relax more and more with your direct link into the body. Observe how the particular sensations change on their own. Note the changes in pressure, temperature, movement, and tone (pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral). Let yourself align with the neutral act of observing or witnessing. When you begin to space out or get hijacked by the beliefs and stories in the mind, just return to this awareness of sensation in the body. Notice again if you have started to contract around the sensations. See if there are any muscles that are gripping that can be softened. Is the breath being held? If you forget to relax, you will likely get overwhelmed and retrigger a dysfunctional stress response. Attention can be placed on one area or can move around to several areas as the tension starts to dissolve. If the sensation is very subtle, it may be difficult to maintain the link. With practice, you will become more sensitive to subtleties in the body.

Just as an open hearted and friendly quality was needed in step one, step two demands the development of objectivity and relaxation. Even when sensations are sharp and painful, you can learn to sit in the fire of this experience with dignity, spaciousness, and ease. You are learning a crucial skill that will change how you respond to the presence of stress in your body. Take it slow and be patient. How long you take at this stage will vary. Once you feel yourself begin to relax and become more embodied, it may be time to transition to step three. Take as much time as you need or can here. Even a minute can have a powerful impact on your relationship with your stress.

Befriending Stress Article: Part 2 of 4

2010-10-28T07:05:00.000-07:00

Meet and Greet

The first step to transform your stress responses is the crucial act of befriending stress. When we meet a person, we might greet them in many ways. Perhaps we greet them in a personal manner that communicates openness, care, and friendliness. Or we might greet them in a closed manner that communicates avoidance, indifference, or even judgment. Meeting a symptom of stress is no different. Yet as humans, we tend to gravitate towards what is pleasant and push away what is unpleasant. So it is natural that we would greet the unpleasant thoughts, feelings, and sensations of stress with aversion, contraction, and judgment. In the world of stress responses though, this closed greeting exacerbates harmful symptoms of stress. Tension increases in both the body and mind, further activating the SNS. When the stress trigger has expired, this tension continues to cause a disturbance in our ability to rest. Even though it may seem counter-intuitive to some, meeting our stress in the mind and body and greeting it with acceptance and friendliness communicates a harmonious relationship. When we are in harmony with our inner and outer environment, we create the right conditions for a restful mind and body.

This critical first step is to remove any and all conflict with our present experience, despite our preferences for things to be different. Bring your attention inside. Take a quick inventory of your thoughts, feelings, and sensations. These will be the objects to meet and greet. Name the worried thoughts, the fear and frustration, and the knot in the pit of your belly or chest, for example. Acknowledge the temporary life of these forms and allow them space to be here. An inner monologue may sound something like this, “This is what is here right now. I see you and welcome you.” You will find the right words that work for you. Since what is happening is already happening, the sooner you recognize and accept its presence, the sooner its grasp can be released. When you struggle with the content of your experience, it is no longer free to arise and pass away naturally as do all of our thoughts, sensations, and feelings.

This idea is well defined in the Buddhist practice of mindfulness, where we acknowledge what is, without judgment. It is said that mindfulness is like a clear mirror reflecting the present moment just as it is. Jack Kornfield, founder and teacher at Spirit Rock Meditation Center, speaks about the practice of bowing to your present experience. The act of bowing is often seen as a sign of respect and honor. This can also serve as a visual cue for you as you compassionately take inventory of your stress. Remember that even though it may seem counter-intuitive to respect and befriend experiences you do not enjoy, this is exactly what is being asked of you. This will take time to practice. Know this. Do not judge how well you are doing. Simply meet and greet your experience as you would a friend, inviting all parts of your experience to be here.

Befriending Stress Article: Part 1 of 4

2010-10-14T12:06:00.000-07:00

Befriending Stress:
3 Steps to Revolutionize your Responses to Stress

Life is hard. I hear that a lot and more often than not, I agree. The life that most of us have come to know is a modern day balancing act of go go go and do do do. We work long hours, often staring at screens or hurrying from one intense meeting to the next. Day after day, week after week, the body starts to gradually rebel with its offerings of musculoskeletal pain, elevated heart rate, and splitting headaches. The mind grows weary and agitated. The breath becomes shallow, constricted, and ultimately, neglected. And yet even if we know we are stressed, and overwhelmed, we do little to change the root of the dysfunctional ways we respond to stress. Perhaps we find ways to temporarily relieve our condition. More often than not, we end up caught in the same dreadful stress patterns, convincing in their assumptions that this is just the way it is and we need to slog our way though it. When stress is left unattended, it manifests as involuntary stress responses in the body and mood disorders such as depression and anxiety. If you feel trapped and oppressed by stress and stressful conditions, there is a good chance there is something revolutionary you may not have tried yet: Make stress your friend.

Transforming your responses to stress is do-able for you, right now, regardless of the stressor or symptom of stress. Using a clear three-step process, you will learn how to befriend stress, access it in the body, and take appropriate actions to create balance and ease. Before we get started, there are a few things you need to know about stress that will help you begin.

Need to Know

The term stress is derived from the Latin stringere, to draw tight, which is an excellent frame of reference for what happens to us mentally and physically when we are in its grasp. There are two kinds of stress: eustress and distress.

Eustress is stress or activity without negative consequences on the autonomic nervous system (ANS). Imagine the stimulating effort needed to give a talk in front of a small group of people. Distress has destructive consequences on the nervous system, especially with extended or repeated exposure.

The barometer for our stress is always the ANS, which is divided into two parts: sympathetic and parasympathetic. Sympathetic (SNS) is known as the fight-or-flight response and is thought to evolve from our need to escape large predators. The heart beats faster, pupils dilate, blood is drawn away from the stomach and extremities, and stimulating hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol are released. Extreme activation of the SNS creates the conditions for many harmful symptoms of stress like hypertension, anxiety and ulcers. Parasympathetic (PNS) is known as the rest and digest response and brings the body back to its restful state by reducing the release of stress hormones and heart rate, and redirecting blood to stomach and extremities. The PNS is the reason we feel calmer after intense exercise or after eating.

There are two categories of stress triggers that stimulate various stress responses: external and internal. External stress triggers are specific events, circumstances, or relationships in your life that cause an activation of stress responses in the nervous system. This could include work life, social life, family life, illness/physical conditions, and the myriad tasks and responsibilities we take on or are required of us. Internal stress triggers are specific thoughts and feelings that mimic the same stress responses in the nervous system. Both triggers can carry the same weight in its impact on the ANS. Therefore, a real or imagined event can impact the nervous system the very same way. Thinking about traffic and imagining being in traffic can easily replicate the bodily symptoms of actually being in traffic. Understanding what is triggering our stress is critical in shifting our dysfunctional and unsatisfying responses to stress. Making a list of external and internal stress triggers is an extremely practical and helpful action step towards this cause.

Now that you have a basic understanding of how stress works, you are ready for three steps that will transform how you respond to stress in your life. Like anything new, it may take time to grow comfortable with this mind/body approach. So take a deep breath NOW, and stay open to exploring these three steps that will help you uncover the peace and ease already within you.

Stay tuned for part 2 of 4 of this article to be released last week of October. You can be notified directly of any updates by following me on Twitter or Facebook.

Breathe.

2010-09-02T17:38:00.000-07:00

Breathe.

There is nothing more basic
More ordinary, more universal
Underneath every moment
Involuntary and circuitous
Without beginning or end
Our most intimate life partner
Expands and contracts
Within the very fabric of this skin
As we sing and dance
Struggle and grasp
Each breath
Listening
Adjusting
Supporting
To the message you send it
As you swim on the surface
Of a thrilling life that pleases and threatens
That invites you to quietly lie down
And shrewdly protect yourself
All at once
And this one thing
That binds you to this moment
The one you have heard to be present with
And it is this you cannot purchase
This you cannot borrow or steal
For this is yours to meet
Whether stranger or friend
With your mindful attention
With your kind presence
With your curious mind
It will be there
When no else can
Or no one else will
This foundation of your aliveness
With which you align yourself
To quiet the mind
And de-mystify the body
To penetrate truth
And uncover peace

The inhale
Allows you to make contact
And expand the space inside
Drawing in precious oxygen
To our lifeline as our crimson rivers
Flood every organ, every tissue, every cell
A feeding frenzy that energizes and mobilizes
Our dreams and visions

The exhale
Allows you to relax
And feel your feet on the earth
Expelling out carbon dioxide
To our lifeline of trees and plants
Our generous contribution to nature
That supports and beautifies
Our dreams and visions

And the stillness
That space between each inhale and ex
That invokes us to pause
To meet each impulse with restraint
So that we may get a taste
Of the sweet nectar of stillness
Ever-present in each one of us
Underneath time
This pulse of breath
Indifferent to our mood or state
Race or religion
Connects me to you
And you to another
In a tapestry of ego-less community

And it will be on your day of expiration
From this form
That your breath returns to the formless
That you give it back to seamlessly light the flame
Of a new being to be born again
And others will gaze down on your breathlessness
With deep wonder and earnest respect
For all your breath offered you in this life

As long as you are still here
Intertwined with your winds of life
Seek the intelligence that is already in you
Breathing in and out as you listen
To the words that invite your presence
To slip into the life of breath
Your most indelible life partner
That is here to help you like none other
Live your dreams and visions

Just this
Inhale
And exhale
So ordinary is peace
So ordinary is peace

When We're Done Being Afraid, Then What?

2010-06-14T12:36:00.000-07:00

When We're Done Being Afraid, Then What?

All I can do

Is smile

And observe the thought

And thank it

For it taught me something so valuable

From my heart

I extend it my love

And shed the crust

Of negativity and judgment

Of my history,

Of my family's history,

Of all history,

Of all beings everywhere

And the fear

Wouldn't you know

It comes back

But not as strong

Because I can see it for what it is

And trust that underneath it

Is a Love

An amazing ocean of love

That is in me

Is in all beings

Always has been

Always will

Never born

Never dies

So when darkness falls

Close your eyes

Trust the medicine of Life

Breathe deeply

RELAX!

And remember that everything changes

That is its nature

And if we bear witness to its

Grace

We can learn what it is trying to teach us

To love ourselves

To love each other

To love our Earth

To love all beings everywhere

And remember:

They are just sensations

It is your reactivity to them that brings you unhappiness

Excerpt from my December BREATHE. Newsletter

2009-12-10T21:39:00.000-08:00

One question that has been circling my world recently has been this: How do we stay connected to our spiritual path while balancing all the day to day responsibilities and demands that life requires? Another way to look at this question is this: How do we find meaning and connection within the gritty details of life's housekeeping, accounting, and relationships? Clearly, the answers could warrant an article, chapter, or even a full book. But let me share just a few tips to get you through the holiday season connected, inspired, and vibrant:

-Begin the day with an intention to open to all experiences of your day, pleasant or unpleasant, as a gift and a teacher. With this intention, you can ask yourself in a wonderful or difficult moment, "What is this experience trying to teach me?"

-Notice the thoughts/stories that circulate through the mind. When you notice "always, never, should/n't, every..." thoughts, investigate whether these triggering thoughts are true or not. If you do this honestly, you will find an exception to every one of these all or nothing thoughts

-Find at least 15 minutes to tend to your body every day. Exercise, yoga, meditation, massage (self-massage included), anything that gets you focused on body rather then the endless list of things to DO.

There you have it. I promise that if you follow these tips, you will feel that much more connected, inspired, and vibrant. The time is now.

2009 Thanksgiving Ode

2009-11-24T19:02:00.000-08:00

11/24/09

An Ode to a Friend

*Dedicated to my best friends: Julie and Harley

Gather one, gather all
From beginning to end
For the fun’s about to start
With an ode to a friend

To a friend we are grateful
For all they reflect
For their strength and their caring
Their love, their respect

It’s the space that they make
When we need them the most
The familiar tone in the room
When you arrive to your host

The welcoming vibe
That each one of us needs
The companionship through time
When we’re doing our deeds

Whether it’s work or its play
With a friend is no matter
Just laughter and tears
And limitless chatter

The words that we hear
The advice or the joke
The generosity we feel
Whether we’re rich or we’re broke

A friend is a teacher
That knows what is vital
It’s that gaze in their eyes
That surrenders any name, any title

Just a spirit, like you
Who you recognize the same
Who will still call you out
When you’re just being lame

So its forgiveness, the glue
That keeps us together
The compassion that turns
The years into forever

For it’s said there’s just one rule
The rule that it begins
The rule that opens the can of time
Until we wake to winds

The winds that go on when we’re done
The winds that take us home
Just knowing you have shared this life
With a friend, you’re not alone

So even when we disappear
And into ourselves we go
A friend is like the desert spring
The fertile seed we sow

And on this day, the seeds do sprout
And abundance does her dance
Of feeding us with nutritious food
Until we must loosen our pants

And then we look unto another
Who is aging, just like you
One who turns down the many years
For a room with a scenic view

One to watch, as we grow
And then to stumble again
One to make such great tradition
Like this ode, which now turns ten

On this day, all together
No matter what the cause
Just this message to be grateful
And to give the doing a pause

Just being here today
With each other is the best
A day to feel awake and alive
And a night with which to rest

So enjoy this life and all your days
With those who you depend
And recite your joys openly
With you own ode to a friend

The Edge of Life

2009-10-20T19:22:00.001-07:00

The Edge of Life

I get real still
Finally
And allow the movements of life
To keep moving as they do
So that the stillness can reflect
All that is true

The love of faith
And wisdom of stepping back
From the edge
To where I have walked
Again
The fear
Of being seen
Of not being seen
The anxiety of not having enough
The anxiety of losing what I have
The desperation of collapse
The desperation of self-making
The edge
Where the unpleasant rules
And our lack of control shines

Creeping
Towards and away
From that which we find distasteful
The feelings that won’t go away
The stories that inconveniently resurface
The thoughts that incessantly repeat
And those life moments that are other than the way
The way that is my way
My way
The pleasant way
The congenial way, what’s agreeable,
And inherently easy

Forgetting
The nobility
Of this suffering
Again
And the remembering
Of the beauty of this struggle
Of the places inside that must emerge
From this dharma
Living in you
This life
That chose you
This body
These thoughts
Just these life experiences
To sculpt you
Just as you are
Now
To show you your magnificence
Even if you refuse to see it
Or can not feel it
The flame of nobility remains lit
For you
For me
And for all beings that touch this suffering
To remind us
That we are connected
Never been separate
Not alone at this edge of life
Where the illusion of separateness
Is the dividing line between peace and agony
Joy and fear

You see this in your family
You see this in your friends
You see this in those you do not know
And you see this in yourself
The way we fight with our moments
The way we fear what may come
The way we cling to what we can not accept
You see this
And you understand
Like an island in the murky waters
Of all that is confusing and dreary
Of all that is sorrowful and heavy
That there is light
The light
Of insight
That climbs
Each vertebrae
Until the spine returns to
The grace
That connects heaven and earth
That which is seen and known
And that which is unseen and not to be known
This body allows for the return
Again
For the breath to land
And expand
For the spirit to lighten
And root

This cosmic and turbulent dance
At the edge of life

So Sensible It Is

2009-03-22T22:49:00.000-07:00

The simple act of just feeling
What is here
And witnessing every impulse
To twist and turn away
To disperse this pulse of life
To do more
To interact
And stay intertwined

This keen observation
Allows me to know how I am
How I act
What I choose
And what I leave behind

I see the gripping
Hanging on to some imagined release
From this moment of life
Which doesn’t even appear unpleasant in its conditions
And yet the ability to watch and feel still a balancing act
As joy, love, & strength
Merge as a charge
That still must be felt
Before it is blindly defended against
And turned sour

The night penetrates into the body
And the stars start to stick like freckles
I become the cosmos
And the earth just a witness
To this incredible joy of what is
And what will come
As an offering to the great river of suffering
Washing over each one of us

I open myself to this window
Gazing into the open skies of love and of grace
Where I forget all the things I have done
And have to do still
Losing this Self to find something
Wide and expansive

I have gone nowhere
And I am here in this body
But I ebb and flow with this breath
Aligning me with a truth I can only point to
And wonder how many ways there are
To forget what we think we know
And feel the current of life
This infinite weaving of joy and suffering,
Tension and ease
Inbreath and out
Me and we
Floating by

So sensible it is
To bask in it
Before it is gone

BIRTH

2009-01-05T16:43:00.000-08:00

You have to start where you are
And feel what you know
What is wanting to expire
And what is wanting to come forth
Eternal beginnings and endings
Cycling again and again
To this world
From what’s underneath the surface
Where things are not things
And nothing is separate
Not any being
Not any thought
Nothing and no one left out
Of what we share
You
And
I
Together
Birth
And
Death
The truth of life
Flowing through the veins of all beings

Birth
What emerges from the mystery
And brings with
New life
Fresh skin
The smell of a baby’s head
Lingering in the shadows
Of all that we cut off
And refuse to look at
What breaks our heart
While we are looking away
For something
To take us away from
This
The suffering in me
The suffering in you
All of it
Making beings hurt one another
And themselves
Again
And again
And again

The tears of birth
Spew forth
Tears
Let us know we are alive
That we have hearts
Beating
And breaking
Pulsing
With the rhythms of life
The ones that feel good
And the ones that don’t
The ones that attract us
And the ones that repel
All part of the whole
All of which
Lies at the feet
Of a life
No longer willing to pretend
No longer willing to control
And no longer willing to push away
What is in us
What is around us
For better
And for worse
This mystery
This parade of life
Emerges from prehistoric communities
Into our today
While we wait
In the nest
Of hope
Hope that values of the heart
Can be values in our eyes
Eyes that courageously see
Ourselves and each other
Our friends and our enemies
All with hearts that break
Some with joy
Some with pain
All of it
Resting in the bosom of compassion
Birthing
Gratitude for our love
And love for our pain
This healing
The personal
And the transpersonal
What binds us together
Timeless wisdom
Growing from the soils
Of this Earth
Changing every day
And we feel that
The formlessness of change
Slipping through our grasp
This mystery embodied
In this now
This divine presence
Unfolding
And awakening
To see itself
The reflections of birth
Pure light
From
The Mother
And an instinct to
Love

We are ready.
Inhale.
Exhale.
It begins…

Ode to Being -Thanksgiving 2008

2008-11-26T16:47:00.000-08:00

Here is my yearly Thanksgiving Ode: Enjoy everyone and have an amazing holiday!

Ode to Being

Nothing to do
And nothing to see
Nothing to replace
Your capacity to be

To exist as you are
Alive in this form
The capacity to witness
This sun or this storm

Whatever might pass
Thru this moment of life
Wants its voice heard
Without fear, without strife

It takes both your ears
And it takes both your eyes
To relinquish what binds you
And mistakes you for “I”

You are more than a pronoun
Or some thought that you think
You are this pulsing vibrant being
To this mystery, a link

The connection between us
What is true and always been
It is this sense of our alikeness
This shared game we all win

The rules are acceptance
To let this moment be
Another compassion
The light hearted tree

That grows in the shadows
Behind the wall that you live
That grows each little bit
The more love that you give

So whether you like it
Or whether you don’t
Or whether you will
Or whether you won’t

Embrace all that is
This capacity to be
This moment’s true gift
To you and to me

It is for this we give thanks
The gift we’ve unwrapped
This glowing appreciation
To be has been tapped

And we can not go back
Into simply just doing
Without taking a moment
To bring on the mooing

As we feast on our blessings
And good drink and good food
It's an ode to being
That’s offered its mood.

Unfolding

2008-10-31T14:21:00.000-07:00

A flower never blooms before its ready
Quietly transforming itself
So absolutely obscured from being seen
The blooms of frailty
Perish before their full beauty is exposed
Continuing to give back to the mother
To the roots and stalks
The legs that walk
To collect and to gather
The life force to persevere
Through the unveiling of its outer forms
Streaking its safest colors to the cold, crisp air

The dew
Now resting on the lips of birth
Gleefully descends its clarity
Into the center of transformation
Where the right alchemy takes shape
For the true nature of things to unfold

It is the relationship
Betwixt and between
All things dependent on one flower
That carries the expansion of what is most intimate
From the center
Pushing
Pressing
Outward
The outer lips fully drinking the morning spirits
Making room
Making way
For what is happening already
What is in motion
What is wanting to be seen
To be admired
Not for its accomplishment
But simply to be gazed into
For its ultimate beauty
Expressing itself in its right time
Unfolding
Only through the embrace of nature itself
Softly taking claim of its unabashed life
Without judgment or pity
Nothing feels wrong

There is no fear in a flower
So completely transfixed in bloom

The discourse of seasons fills the days
With simple chatter elegantly turning
To the whispers of nights
And as morning shines through
Its first morning stretch
The bloom drops its petals
From outside back in
And returns quietly to the earth
And in time
Dissolves through the soils
To return to its roots
To support another child
In uncovering its natural beauty

Seduction and Compassion

2008-04-21T18:54:00.000-07:00

This day
This struggle
Between what wants to be free
And what unduly confines
This shedding
Of all who you think you are
Who others think you are
This very same part
That you judge
Again and again
In new and clever ways
This very same part
That you imagine others judge
With sharp unkind eyes
All of this
Swirling
Growing
Lingering
Until you are convinced
You are this person
The persecuted
The victimized
The one you never wanted to be
And yet
Fear has lead you
To this self-fulfilled prophecy
Of sorrow and disappointment
The more you pushed away
What was unpleasant in mind
And intolerable in body
The more you became seduced
By the idea that you needed to be
Somebody
To be loved

This day
Is not the same
As the darkness you once knew
It is so clear
And so palpable
That to seek freedom
You must walk back
Through the old structures and forms
To generate this new relationship
Where you carry your deep truth
That you are not these forms
And you need not push away
Or cling to
Or get seduced by
These forms that have always
Lead you
Away
From the truth
That you are something brilliant
Beyond tiny thoughts
And penetrating emotion

You retreat
Back to the center
The way back
To what is underneath
What suffers
This humble journey
Where you may be tempted
Over and over again
To be seduced
To believe the illusions
That have never served you
But have been the building blocks
To waking up
Compassion
In this very heart
The cool air
To the fires
Of purification
And as you walk
Amongst dilapidated structures
Feel the heat of the fire
But be wary of the burn
Allow the cool air of compassion
And the ancient goddess
Who has taught you
To merge love
With your pain
And create something new
Something lighter

The corners of the mouth ungrip
And loosen
And the breath of life moves through you
And you trust that this struggle
Is a new doorway
To your heart
Now
Ready
And open
To receive
And to give
These wise teachings
Of the heart

Judgment Day

2008-02-28T12:04:00.000-08:00

It is what we fear
And what grips us
From inside and from out
This judgment
Of what I have done
Of what I have not done
It matters little
What actually happens
For the fantasy and reality
Taste the same
In our minds

From a child to the elder
It binds us
And holds us back
From bringing forth
Who we are
And who we may be
Vulnerable
Of those that feed us
And surround us
And of those we may never know
Whose opinion
Somehow
Matter so much
And become magnanimous
In our minds
And harden
From impressions
To cracks
That begin to fester
And devour
The nutrients
And boldness of heart

It may feel like the monster
You once feared as a child
That still lurks on your shoulder
And keeps you from sleeping
In peace
And walking
In peace
Loving
In peace
And enjoying
In peace
This life
You have been given
That you may not feel grateful for
Not any more
Not when what consumes you
Kills you
Or slowly rots a fine heart
That still longs for rest
In this body
The antidote
For such afflictions
That we feed every day
The insatiable appetite
Of the beast
Is seen now through the eyes
Of this woman
Or man
Who must learn
To feed the heart
With compassion
And ease
And withstand
The hunger
Of a beast
Who has consumed
Too much
And left grief
In its wake

Feel
The body
And direct your
Attention
Where you most need it
Take in what you long for
And find the courage
To see this judgment
As it is
Without falter
Or hesitation
The audacity to disbelieve
What has always shaken you
And left you so barren
Feel
What expands you
And makes you remember
The blessings you know
When something inside
Lets go
And silences
And you find space
Where you thought there was none

This judgment
Has passed

Repeat when necessary

This Moment

2008-01-23T17:27:00.000-08:00

This moment
I arrive
Unique footprints
Making their marks
On precious earth
Supporting and inviting
This body to pulse
Right here
And this mind
To collect and unify
Inside and around
These bones
And this flesh
Right now
Making their impressions
In this space
And this life
Of heart
And mind
With my hands
I make prayer
And with my heart
I receive
And offer
Wishes for peace
This moment

This moment
I return
To the stillness
I must meet with care
So I may receive
This blessing
Of quietness
Vast space
Inside
This warm fuzzy blanket
Coating the excess noise
Of others and self
Like white caps on a wave
Cresting and falling
One wave
Touching the whole
With its innocence and grace
And a knowing
That these rhythms are right
And benevolent
And wise with purpose
For each being
Now just one
This connection
This moment

This moment
I rest
No longer needing
To make something
Do something
Or be something
This letting go
Of who I think I am
So I may feed
Who I am
Just this
Underneath
All of these layers of self
Ideas, concepts, dreams
Extinguish here
In this breath
Where I am no longer
Separate
From another
Just the same heart-filled
Compassion
Just the same light-filled
Aliveness
Awake and reflecting
The same precious light
Of our children and elders
Everywhere
Around this world
This universal meeting place
This moment

Ode to Silence-Thanksgiving 2007

2007-11-20T08:06:00.000-08:00

Now is time to rest
Your body in this place
to simply be with family
And unwind from the race

Where all is so busy
And all is so loud
The sun shining bright
In search of a cloud

Upon one which to rest
And relax its strong rays
Upon one to grow quiet
For the rest of its days

For now we’ll take one
Thanksgiving will do
Its silence we return to
Inner reflections of you

All that you think
And all that you say
Rest in this body
In this place, on this day

All of the doing
And responsibility for others
In this moment can rest
In the company of mothers

Who birthed us and gave life
To the dreams locked inside
From the silence of the womb
In this safe space we reside

From the womb to the world
Our inevitable path
Where we lose precious silence
In a warm word-filled bath

But if we really get quiet
For even a smidgen of time
We can hear our own heartbeat
And the busyness of mind

We can invite that to rest
And release work from the day
And give thanks for what’s here
And praise life and pray

We pray to be safe
We pray for our health
But with both hearts and minds
As the true nature of wealth

And so we return
To the great silence that’s here
That binds us together
Through all pain and all fear

She holds each life here
As if it were her own
The fabric of caring
So carefully sewn

So take just a moment
For yourself and all life
To hear your own silence
Your true husband or wife

To it you’re married
For the rest of your time
So be kind in your silence
and your rhythms and rhyme

Just a moment will do
And then return to the party
Where conversation is spirited
And the meal is sure hearty

So enjoy and be grateful
In this year, on this day
And eat well with your loved ones
And hear what they say

But honor your silence
To which you return
So listen real well
And your bound which to learn

About the life of your brother
Your mother, your wife
Your grandma, your father
And the littlest life

All eating together
This fertile abundance of many
For silence we thank
What doesn’t cost us a penny

Ode to Tyler and Raven

2007-11-20T08:04:00.000-08:00

This moment we breathe
This moment we face
Two lovers through time
Who wed in this place

A place filled with beauty
This place filled with sun
Shines the light rays of history
Where two pages become one

In the book they have written
The story through time they create
A Black bird and the Blue
Stand together in their fate

To be here right now
Soft gaze meets soft gaze
The eyes that speak their values
The eyes that show their ways

To be mystical and creative
Like the deep ocean sea horse
Who leads them into big hearts
The great teacher of this course

Of how to live and how to love
The mystery of the ages
Written through great hearts
On Tyler and Raven’s pages

This book that keeps growing
With each moment we give
Our blessings and wishes
For their life which to live

Filled with the joys
And filled with the pains
That fills every life
The moon waxes and wanes

Like any love does
The moon, our great teacher
Reminds us about nature
The eternal grace of each creature

Which we meet with respect
And with compassion for life
Like each wife to a husband
And each husband to wife

The balance you seek
Is the quest for each day
When the body’s in pain
And the mind runs astray

It’s how you return
To the center you seek
Where you find strength
To acknowledge the weak

In yourself and the other
With compassion you find
Your life it can breathe
When what heart speaks is kind

The essence of you
Who you always have been
You now share with another
New family, new kin

Those that surround
See both of you now
And the light you emit
In the words of your vow

To yourself, to each other
The words that do bind
The commitment you make
In both body and mind

And in your soul you make known
A new place for your lover
Sacred space which to rest
A safe place to take cover

From this world with its threats
And its negativity and fear
You will find an oasis
Where the water is clear

Like the eyes you see now
Looking back into yours
You see spirit and laughter
When it rains, yes it pours

An unimaginable love
From this mysterious source
The love of creation
Nature’s birth, nature’s force

That found your two hearts
And made them dance on a table
From New York’s busy chaos
To California’s playful fable

All these friends and loved ones
The ones you couldn’t be without
The ones that bear witness
To a heart bold and stout

This strength that will guide you
And keep you together
The patience to remind you
Of magical changes in weather

So we invite it all here
The sun and the rain
To fill up the sink
And go back down the drain

Where your love overflows
And floods open hearts
Tyler and Raven, one whole
With two exceptional parts

I’m convinced, so ya know
So don’t tell me no other
Their love, living proof
Of a fabulous mother

Who provides for our hearts
And provides for our souls
Little magical elf people
And little magical trolls

Round out this great story
And give it a twist
It’s make believe gone real
Your love’s ocean now mist

That falls on your face
As you look to the sky
An ode to Tyler and Raven
Need you ask why?

When It Doesn't Stop (What if?)

2007-10-23T15:05:00.000-07:00

A most valuable lesson
The one you never sign up for
The one which determines what you do
When you feel the threat
Of your precious comfort
You have worked so hard to compose

You begin to negotiate
With what claws at you
You tell it to go away
And unknowingly speak on deaf ears
You push it away
And humbly begin to tire
The smell of defeat
Lingers and oozes
Through your thoughts
The paralysis of helplessness
Deflates your distinguished aliveness
It will be over soon
It will be over soon
You think to yourself
And yet nothing happens
It is not going away
It is not stopping
And this discomfort has consumed you
Every thought and feeling
Movement and breath
And you have made a choice
To fight and to push
To resist and to defy
All of this in fear
Of death
And the staff of uncertainty
She leads with

What if
What if
We let go
Of pushing
And fighting
Of resisting
And defying
There is nothing passive about this
What if
This active process
Of letting these actions go
Changed everything
What if
We transformed our fears into prayers
What if
We made compassion out of our misery
And what if
Death
Was reframed as birth
Would that change things
Would that make different
What we do
When it doesn’t stop
How we receive life
And in turn
What we offer back out
To our family
And friends
And to those unfamiliar
To the earth
And its wild citizens of nature

What we feel
We feed on
And what we think
Fuels us
To make choices
Of healing
Or suffering
For ourselves
And for this world
So when it doesn’t stop
And you feel like you have no choice
Find your breath
And trust your heart
Behind which
You have everything you need
To not only survive
But to transform
This death
No matter small or big
Into something new
And great
Alive and awake
And yes
It will be difficult
And yes it may be hard
And born out of this work
We may find something we never knew to ask for
If we ask

What if?

Savasana

2007-09-20T08:13:00.000-07:00

Time and space to let go
It’s what you’ve been waiting for
So what are you waiting for
Go in swiftly
And be easy with what you find
And notice what you notice
For the sake of your own life
And all the moments of experience that pass through you

Swing from vine to vine
With grace
And an allowance to be free
Feel your way through the darkness behind your eyes
And receive something believable
Unlike story after story of mind
Which will always be there
Looking for you

See yourself as you are
With your most beautiful eyes
And you will find a reflection of luminous presence
Something real
Something you
Not who you think you are
But who you are
This truth
This now
This moment
You are free and alive
Awake to the joys and pains of this life
And return them to the earth

You have let go
Because you care
For the healing of your own heart
And the freedom of your living spirit

This
Is what you have been waiting for

The Joy of an Aching Heart

2007-08-27T21:23:00.000-07:00

Feel the fear
And wrap it in beauty
And remember
Where attention goes
Energy flows
So take care of what you invite in
To your divine self
Use prayer for protection
And trust in the majestic spirit of nature
Who cares for us as children
And allows us to make more children
Each new child a sun
A new opportunity to reflect
The brilliance of what creates us
And allows us to create
And form community to support
The longevity and prosperity of what you cultivate
In service of nature
And the healing of hearts
That hurt
That grieve
That break
So they can come together
In new ways
Strong hearts who know loss and suffering
And who weave the art of forgiveness
For the self and other
A relationship
Entwined with the magic of birth
And the transcendence of death
One life
Circling and circling again
Until it finds itself
Still
Calm
Peaceful
In a body
Healthy and strong
With a deep knowing
And deep trust
That this moment
Is truth
The only truth we know
We acknowledge this
We honor this
And smile
For all that is left
After quietly sobbing by yourself
Is joy

Step by Step

2007-08-22T09:55:00.000-07:00

Step by step
You walk
Into yourself
Freeing the layers
Of attachment
And desire
Of craving
And dependence
All of the parts
That keep you from knowing
The center
This basic aliveness
Beating in the center of your chest

Step by step
You walk
Into the center
And take with you
This life with spirit
In every way
Every part
Every bit of who you are
Must attend
And find inclusion
In this heart
For anything you leave behind
Grows darker in your own shadows
And waits for the moment
You think you know
You think you have found
True peace
This body
This feeling
This thought
This breath
Everything that fills
This vast space
You call life
From moment to moment
Shifting and changing
All of it you
And yet none of it you

Step by step
You walk onto this path
Cleared some time ago
From those who have known
The path was worthy to make
To create an experience
Of connectedness through time
Each footprint that steps
On same footprints that step
Into the roots and branches
And sunlight
And shade
To remind you
Of the reflections
Of this path
And that
The walk in
And walk out
The breath of our lives
Emerging at the crest of the hill
Where the sun hits the heart
And it opens without a stutter
This joy
This freedom
The fleshy ripe fruit
Reveals itself
And then it is gone
With the next step
The downside slope
Of the same morning hill

Step by step
You learn
What you seek
And find understanding
In light
And in letting go
Of what poisons
Your dreams
And your walk
Into yourself
Where you bring
Wakeful heart
And mindful attention
To live this wise life
You may have never thought possible
Before the awakening

Step by step
You walk

The Purge

2007-08-22T09:48:00.000-07:00

Above all else
Be kind
To yourself
And to others

The emerging mantra
Of the purge
And an embrace of everything
Loving and pure
And vulnerable and free

Layers of the body
In the body
Begin to shed
And with it
The stories
Of every failure
Of each judgment
And the negativity
That serves to create
A life of contraction
Where instead of possibility
There lies traps
Where instead of courage
There lives fear
Of being who you really are
And owning what is yours
To offer back
To this life
That has nurtured you

The toxins of the body
Merge with the impurities of the mind
And the polluted channels of the heart
And this residue demands your presence
To become this graceful witness to
Each thought, each feeling,
Every craving, image, and dream
Simply notice
That is it
And do not attach
For you are not trying
To hold onto anything

The act of eating
A new metaphor for your spiritual life
Of balance
And awareness
Aliveness
And peace
Just keep coming back
Over and over
To that empty space
That fills up again
With the dance of the moment
Each moment the same canvas
Filled anew until the next
Over and over
You are here again
Beyond any belief
Or story
Or expectation that you cast
You return
To the new form
Held in the ever-present formless
And we get to see where we get stuck
And hold on
And avoid just the same
This space inside
Where the feather settles and rests
And resides in the winds
That blow each day
Inside
And out

You reflect on your time
And what it will be
Or what it has been
And you find
That it is gratitude
And kindness
The deep wells of the heart
That is left inside
As fearless leader
And noble student
Wise teacher
And trusted friend
The deepest wells
Where we can all find each other
When we purge what keeps us afar
And embrace the silence
That joins our hearts

Above all else
Be kind
To yourself
And to others

Timeless wisdom of an unpolluted heart

Another Day

2007-03-28T22:46:00.000-07:00

The soft whisperings
Of another day
Gently fall off my lips
As my eyes close
And become enveloped
In evening peace

Silence
Once again
Allows me to speak
My body
The stirrings
Of the soul
Find their voice
As the heart grows tender
Under the night time sky

I feel things as they are
Raw and vulnerable
Illusions aside
Life is wide open
And bubbling underneath the skin
Asking for nothing
But the allowance to be
Without any judgment
Without any shame
For all of its pleasure
And all of its pain
Together
Woven together
To warm our hearts
And make us grow
What is most vital
And give it back to others
To reconnect
Him to her
And her to him
Each of us
To each other
To remember the connection
Of all living beings
To the next

Eye lids begin to rest
And grow weary from the day
Another day
Of trusting the path you have been given
Of trusting in every message offered to you
Of learning that trust is the message you will offer
To another person
On another day
When they need it most
When it is most crucial
For when the heart hurts
You will offer a simple message
And you will know
For sure
That it is true
Not because it is what you were told
But because it is what you lived
When you questioned yourself
And the path you have chosen
When fear was a monster
That scared your living bones
Shaking
Rumbling
You rise again
Hands in prayer
Home in the heart
And you let it all in
Without push
Without pull
You let it show its teeth
And you bow
Honoring another swift attempt
To move you
From your ground
Your very own patch of earth
Only to remind you
To breathe
And be true to your self
And that another weary day
Can be as magical as you wish
When you surrender
To this whole silence
That begins
So gently as soft whisperings
Gently falling off my lips
As my eyes close
And become enveloped
In evening peace
Another Day
Is put to rest

Trust

2007-03-05T16:48:00.000-08:00

You are starting to see yourself
As you are
This breath
Dissolving yourself with each exhale
You are not pushing anything away anymore
You no longer see the need to hold on
Reminder after reminder
Tells you to be here
As you are
And let that be real
And let that be truthful
The fear of the ground beneath you
Rupturing
Cracking
The falling down
Into the same abyss
That awaits you
When you cling to fear
And the sharp edges of the unknown
You have been here before
But you know now
More than ever
How you got here
To see the transgression
Of fear echoing through the heart
Wondering about its own future
Languishing in its own past
This vulnerable heart
Here
Now
Pulsing and beating
Seeing fear
Seeing promise
Allowing them to be the same
And returning back
To the pulsing and the beating
The in and the out breath
Leaving only you
Just you
Being
With all of the gifts you have been given
To share with the world
That is sorely in need
Of the message you offer
Trust
In this moment
And the next
And the next
That you will be supported
By the magic that infiltrates
Every vision you have seen and felt
Trust
That the challenges you face
Are the teachers you seek
And that what transforms you
Is what you will teach
At a time
When it is most needed
Trust
In the mystery of what is true
And never fear cracks in the heart
For there is always healing
In living
And comfort
In returning
To the pulsing and beating
The in and the out breath
You are starting to see yourself
Without the clutter
Of the past and the future
Trust
In awakening
What has been buried
All your life

Let it be ok

2007-01-14T11:11:00.000-08:00

Don’t move
You are right where you need to be
You may have forgotten
What it is you are doing
And the lessons
That pain and struggle
Will teach you

You want to be somewhere else
In some other place
Where the illusion of certainty
Is painted thickly about
They are just sensations
And perilous thoughts
The very work you must endure
And drive through the center of
With the very same
Dedication
And the very same
Compassion
And your intention
To grow awake
And to help awaken
A world asleep
In a dream
With no vision

Tolerate
All that you can
And honor your blessings
For they grace you with
Life
The force that drives you
The honor that bestows you
The gratitude that humbles you
Evenly mixed for culinary embodiment
You are what you eat
And your food is your thoughts
Your heart
And this vital aliveness
The diet of manifestation
Lingers with brilliance
The reflection of the divine
That you offer back to itself
For its own sublime plan
To reflect peace
And contentment
To people who fight
And want more
Of things that will break
And fall apart in the end
Back to the pain
And the thirst
For completeness
Filled
With withoutness

Breathe deep
And breathe again
And follow it with your mind
And let it take you deep inside
To the formless castle
You will never inhabit
But for a moment
In the now
Where you sweep through every room
To see the view
And they are all the same
And reflect the same glassiness
Of an alpine lake
The same beauty
That rests in your heart
Underneath all that crushes you

Enjoy
The vulnerability
And let it be ok
Your vision will guide you
If you honor the terror
Of having nothing
And being no one
Just the beating of the drum
In your heart
Finding the right rhythm
The right flow
For your life to take flight in
The cool winds of air
Carry you
Through these days
Of tomorrow
Where everything you let go of
Comes back to you again

Believe
Everything that you say
And trust
That all that you see
Will be

It just might look different than you think

A Solstice (Winter) Offering

2007-01-14T11:10:00.000-08:00

Take a deep breath
Start over
Feel your body settle
Feel your mind settle
And understand
You will weather the change you seek
With brilliance and grace
You will bring ease
To all that constricts and squeezes
Your bones
You will bring patience
To the desperation
Racing in your blood
And you will bring compassion
To the harshness of doubt
Slicing through mind

Let your dreams permeate
This moment
To remind you
Of what you really long for
To serve the awakening
Of what is so alive within you
And remember
What you have worked for
With dedication to create
The life you know exists

Understand the cycles
Of what you birth
And leave behind
And step forward
Out of time’s shadow
Where the light is warm
And serves as your guide

Accept and release
Stories of defeat
And dust off this coating of negativity
That offers you nothing
But the story you already know
Take your hands to your face
And wash off the layers of fear
Look to the archetypes that find you
And offer yourself to the wisdom they carry

The Emperor
Leads his life
With fierce vision
And fiery heart
And invites everyone to come with
On a journey through battlefields
Of human victories and sufferings
A quest of the human spirit
To persevere through adversity
And learn what it needs
To grow humble and strong

Take a deep breath
Start over

You can do this.

The Break

2006-12-10T13:58:00.000-08:00

A JP Compilation for 2006

1) Chicago-Sufjan Stevens
2) Heart of the Matter-India.Arie
3) Brand New Colony-The Postal Service
4) Still-Ben Folds
5) Make it Mine-Styrofoam
6) Wartime Prayers-Paul Simon
7) Today-Zero 7
8) Close Behind-Calexico
9) Living-India.Arie
10) Forever My Friend-Ray Lamontagne
11) Nothing Happening- Ben Kweller
12) Sister-Sufjan Stevens
13) Better Together-Jack Johnson
14) Work it Out-Jurassic 5 w/ Dave Matthews Band
15) Learning-India.Arie
16) Still (Reprise)-Ben Folds
17) It’s Your World-Gil Scott-Heron & Brian Jackson

Thanksgiving Day Ode-2006

2006-11-22T16:40:00.000-08:00

11/23/06

An Ode to Earth

The day comes to give
A gracious ode to earth
The whole planet included
The very stuff of your birth

It comes like the waves
That you surf and you ride
The inherent wisdom of earth
Pushing and pulling the tide

In and out it goes
The water and land
Covering the grounds
With its salts and its sand

To remind us where we walk
And what’s under our feet
The many faces of earth
Where all elements meet

The air that we breathe
The cool winds of earth
Envelops our lungs
With air’s riches and worth

The fire that burns
What is toxic and old
What we need to let go of
To bring warmth to what’s cold

The water that washes us
Both inside and out
Refreshes the body
Cleans mind of doubt

And back to the earth
The firm ground which to stand
The connection established
The heart meets the hand

To feel what is precious
And what we must keep
When the valleys grow dark
And the mountains go steep

The relationship of the ages
With the great natural mother
Brings us all to the table
With a sister or brother

It is you, it is I
That can keep the earth fertile
Protecting the reef
Saving a turtle

For nature does thank us
When we take some good care
And offers us that sunset
And leaves us in a stare

At the beauty of what is
And what can always be
When the gratitude we feel
Dissolves in the sea

Swimming together
The people and fish
A hearty ode to earth
A prayer and a wish

For a long time of beauty
And generations of life
Just us and the earth
The eternal husband and wife

A Soul's Face

2006-10-23T17:50:00.000-07:00

Let your body rest
In the space you make for it
Underneath your incessant thoughts
That you mistake for who you are
What seems like
Every hour of every day
Every second of every minute
Until you finally remember
That feeling
Of shoulders dropping
And sit bones rooting
Spine growing sky-bound
And finally there is a space
In between your thoughts
Where you reconnect
With what is most vital
The breath that saves your life
And spreads itself wide
Through a space that heals
And thus awakens
Something mysterious
Something so wise
It lives beyond words
And dares to be named
Or connected to thought of any kind
For it is extinct in thought
And its related ponderings
A bath of truth
Cascading over and through
You
Asking for only one thing

Forget who you have been
And who you aspire to become
Get real present
Drop everything
Now
And feel what is most holy
And ever so skillfully
Disguised in the mundane

The face of the soul
Stares back at you again
Ablaze in the very compassion
So desperately longed for
By the suffering of the world

To Awaken

2006-10-16T15:35:00.001-07:00

To awaken
You had to have been asleep
Not knowing
Not yet aware
Of what you do
To satiate the thirst
Of what you could have
Or who you could be
The impulses
That drive you
To repeat the same things
Over and over
And relish in sweet ignorance
While the rest of you
Wonders why you choose
To invite more noise
Into the cluttered mind
As if maybe that would bring
Quiet
The space where you reclaim
Yourself

The heart can grow so long
But is not heard
In the mind
Of unconfronted assumptions
And entertaining addictions
All of which
Seem to balance out
The suffering
This human form
This illusion
That confusion is bad
And that the next person
Is not like you
Does not feel what you feel
Does not also fear
Or grow weary
Of the corners we put ourselves in
The place where the ground
Meets our walls
The only place we might find
Silence

Silence pervades the day
A listening to the trees
As they release their leaves
In the autumn way
The true teachers of attachment
Surround this home
This body
The shifts of the season
Fall, they call it
As if the seasons were inviting us
To mimic them
To dedicate the energy and time
To letting go
Of what you perpetually insist you will
But never do
Spirit can not wait any longer
It needs your silence
To find the truth
That will heal you
And give you the strength
To accept your life
As it is
So that you may give back
To the earth
This gift
You received
On your birth

It will not be easy
To let go of what you grasp
Like a child who will not relinquish
Their favorite toys
It takes a parent
To teach compassion
And to set vital limits
So the heart can grow wise
And the mind free

You have all the tools you need
To be your own teacher
And your own disciple
If you just let yourself
Fall
Like the season
Fall
Like the leaves
Fall
Into silence
Where you awaken
The life that is forming
One moment
Into the next

The Alchemist

2006-09-18T14:37:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share some great wisdom through quotes from the book, "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho. It was recommended to me by some friends and I recommend it to you, my friends. It is a great reminder of what you already know about living your dream and following your heart.
Here are some of my favorite quotes:

"The closer one gets to realizing his destiny, the more that destiny becomes his true reason for being"

B-"Why do we have to listen to our hearts?"
A-"Because, wherever your heart is, that is where you'll find your treasure."
B-"But my heart is agitated. It has its dreams, it gets emotional, and it's become passionate over a woman of the desert. It asks things of me, and it keeps me from sleeping many nights, when I'm thinking about her."
A-"Well,that's good. Your heart is alive. Keep listening to what it has to say"

"What you still need to know is this: before a dream is realized, the Soul of the World tests everything that was learned along the way. It does this not because it is evil, but so that we can, in addition to realizing our dreams, master the lessons we've learned as we've moved toward that dream. That's the point at which most people give up.

"If a person is living out his destiny, he knows everything he needs to know. There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure."

"No matter what he does, each person on earth plays a central role in the history of the world. And normally he doesn't know it."

Only One

2006-09-08T17:38:00.000-07:00

Only One

We are the same
Beating hearts
And inflated breath
You and me
One
Of a kind
That knows
What is important
To the soul
What it needs
To lay down
The suffering
It has accumulated
In this life
The edge
Of life
And its ultimate annoyance
The self
Tired of itself
And the condition
Imposed on it
From boy to man
And girl to woman
The development
Of who you are
From inside to out
And outside back in
Back and forth
You vacillate
Between
Who you want to be
And who you really are
Stripping down the self
To reach the simple truth
Of what is real
To our own experience
And accept it
At all costs
To soften the edges
That harden
What wants to be soft
And what needs to relax
For the soul to rest
In this truth
And to enjoy itself
In this life
Before it must end
With each fatal regret
And each moment to judge
Who we have been
And if we are satisfied
With what we have offered
In selfless time
Where we gave
What we could
To better this life
For each one of us

Have we let go of the self
To discover
Our love
For where we are
And where we have come
The gratitude
For the pain
And the joy
And all it reflects
In the mirror of our own lives
Always showing us who we really are
And how we look to ourselves
Stopping to feel
How we are in ourselves
And why we are afraid
To show the real me
To the real you
In life’s mirror
The divine reflections
To each other
Scares us to the core
Yet invites the chance
To explore
What can be love
In the face of our intentions
To grow and to change
And embrace
When that goes clumsy
And when it just hurts
To be together
And ponder
Where things might be
In a day
That is not now
And can not be seen
The fear meets the fear
And becomes
One
We are the same
Same fear
Same love
Only one

Wheel of Life

2006-08-27T12:54:00.000-07:00

8/26/06 The Wheel of Life

The end is here
And you welcome it
As your own messiah
The gentle embrace
Of time’s big bang
Exploding its way
Into your cosmic heart
Where new forms
Surface with old lessons learned
From the ashes of your pain
And the shadows of what suffers
The awakening grows
New spokes
On the wheel of life
You cling to
For the freedom of all beings
Close your eyes
Ignite your breath
And seat yourself
As the inimitable wheel
Spins itself
Through new ends and old beginnings

Donnie Darko

2006-08-16T13:31:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I have too much time on my hands. So I have more than enough time to catch up on my movies. I have seen Donnie Darko (Director's Cut) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0246578/ before, but it is one of those movies you need to see more than once to put it all together. I saw this film last night for the 2nd time and it continues to stick with me (a subtle haunting) into the following day. From stimulating and darkly hilarious dialogue to well chosen and integrated 80's tunes (Tears for Fears never worked so well) to a plot that is obscurely genius, I recommend this movie whole heartedly. It seriously walks the line between emotional and mental illness, fantasy, time travel, and synchronicity. Thrown together, the director (Richard Kelly)leaves the sorting out for you. This is a film that asks you to think and pay attention. There are scenes that show you pages from a book. Make sure you pause it and read them fully. This will help. Even then, if you were asked to explain it in detail, it could be challenging. It is worth the challenge to see a film that doesn't assume you are dumb and aims to give you a complex story filled with blurred lines between reality and other realities. Oh, and a six foot bunny taboot. Enjoy this if you have not seen it. See it again if its been a while. Jake Gyllenhaal does a superb job as Donnie. I am respecting him more and more after seeing Jarhead, Brokeback, and once again, Donnie Darko. Great name, great film. Enjoy!

The Next Chapter

2006-08-07T12:56:00.000-07:00

8/6/06 The Next Chapter

The next chapter
Of the path of no escape
Arrives with unapologetic glory
And piercing authority
It speaks in harsh whispers
And demands to be heard

You know the drill
You know the words
You know what everyone will tell you
And you know
Like any death
You must do it alone
Lying in the bed of hands that support you

The chapter begins in a story of night and day
The same characters you see in any good story
Demanding some assumption you have met them before
This demand strikes me in conflict
Of what I think I know
And who I really am
As what I know twists itself
In disfigurement
Night and Day emerge as they are
No longer as I want them to be
And my body takes over my life
Leaving the mind in silent defense
A defense from losing control
Of the comforts, taken for granted
As the hours of night unlock their grip
And the minutes of morning offer
The same relief as a tepid bath

Deep bone gripping acceptance
The best of medicines
A panacea for the ever present fragility of our own minds and bodies
And the fates that behold them in this life
But I can not forget the impression
Of this blank canvas staring back at me
Wondering what I will make of it
Entranced by which specks of the soul
Will become immersed in the imagery of the day
And which will disappear in the vacuous night

To not know what words will emerge
And not see the visions too peripheral for view
But to feel the simplicity of action and breath
In a new setting as banal as the echoed ticking of clock
Leaves room for exotic truths and festive clarity
To be mercilessly paraded through the blankness of the day

My mind asks, “When will we stop fighting?”
And the day responds with her same old silence
The day leads by example
She does not want to escape anything
Or hide anywhere
She must remain visible and bright
So she knows when it is time
To lose herself into the night
And traverse the same blackness every being must endure
And taste the same pain you taste
As cells negotiate with each other
To determine your path
Back to the day
Who awakens
In gratitude
For the light that delivers her life
To all those she touches

It is natural to fear the night
Where the dream body rises
And the loneliness of time multiplies
Like the stars in a mountain sky
Illuminating your fear into the day of your dreams
And you awaken in morning light
With fragments of your life
Fallen from the night time sky
Artifacts of your own crumbled statue
From a time before you were born
Again in this life

You are opening the doors
Of a temple you once prayed in
And you must believe
The wisdom of both the day and the night
Who have come to save you from a path
You shall not have walked
To deliver you the blessings
Of guides from another time
Of starry nights you have never seen
And the light of day that has never been so clear

This next chapter
Of what seems so obvious
Is barely visible
And faintly audible
See inside yourself
And listen like a blind man
To what is whistling around you
And you will know the name of the chapter
As the day and night merge in time before your very eyes

Crazy

2006-08-06T22:43:00.000-07:00

This is indeed "crazy".powered by ODEO

The Guest House

2006-08-06T14:25:00.000-07:00

Upon breaking my foot and my life coming to a screeching hairpin turn, I received this poem twice in 2 days, once from my Yoga Journal Newsletter which had a aptly named theme of "Embracing Life's Challenges" and the next, the always witty, clever, and intuitive Free Will Astrology from Marin's own Rob Breszney. I wanted to share it with you all.

"The Guest House"

by Jelaluddin Rumi,
translated by Coleman Barks in his book *Essential Rumi*
http://tinyurl.com/nl8g9

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

For When it Follows You

2006-04-14T22:23:00.000-07:00

4/8/06 For When it Follows You

When it follows you
There is no space
For what you dream for

Breathing tunes the return
Back to yourself
Back to the faith
Everyone reminds you about
Including your breath

You are reminded of the path
The path of no escape
From what you have chosen
And what has chosen you

The inevitable acceptance of who you are
And what becomes of your life
as it lives you
Inside each grasping cell
The microcosm of the self
Pulsing in time to your resistance
Of how things are
Now

Another reminder of what you do
And why you do it
Selfishly imprinting itself on your face
So you may recognize the journey
Of equanimity

You breathe and return again to the center
Of your life
Where all things birth
And all things perish
You practice to be free of whatever comes
This inhale, that fear
This exhale, that joy

The intention grows
In dark, dank soil
Dense with nutrients
And predators alike
And when it is ripe
You will know
You will feel it happening
What you always believed was true
Becomes the manifestation into the light

The composting continues
In the paradoxical body
And the awakening will continue to be disturbed
When the practice is abandoned
You lose focus
And the ability to speak so direct
You fight and you lose
The war you will never win

And if you tear
Do so with pride
And feel as strong as you have ever felt
As your suffering descends down your face
In a luminous expression of the soul
This gift is for you
Take care of it
It is the rain for your soil
That you continue to reject
It is time to embrace yourself
And reawaken what has been
Sung to sleep

Your living dreams await you.

Portal Week Begins!

2006-04-14T22:22:00.000-07:00

10 Galactic Activation Portal Days
What is a galactic activation portal?Within the 260 energies of the Harmonic Module, 52 of them are called portals for they form the "Loom" on which the entire matrix is woven upon.
On portal days, one can expect heightened energies; access to amplified awareness and sensory experience; greater opportunity for information exchange and multi-dimensional insights.
Let us also note the standard college dictionary definition of PORTAL: "An entrance, door, or gate, especially one that is grand and imposing."
May we invite the power of these portals to activate dormant potential and evolutionary transformation!

For Tomorrow: Track Listing

2005-12-17T16:37:00.000-08:00

For Tomorrow:

1) Learn to Live With What You Are-Ben Folds
2) Talk to You-Tracy Chapman
3) Amazing Life-Jem
4) Be-Common
5) Best of Me-Maroons
6) Together-William Shatner w/ Lemon Jelly
7) Marching the Hate Machines (into the sun)-Thievery Corporation w/ The Flaming Lips
8) Earthquake Weather (maybe)-Beck
9) The Practice-Gil Fronsdal
10) Breathe Me-Sia
11) Waiting For My Real Life to Begin-Colin Hay
12) Let Go-Frou Frou
13) Are We the Waiting-Green Day
14) Revelator-Gillian Welch
15) Time-Ben Folds
16) A Minute's All I Need-Michael Franti
17) Patience-k-os
18) A Change is Gonna Come-Leela James
19) Tomorrow's Song-Phish

It Comes Again

2005-10-12T11:24:00.000-07:00

10/12/05 It Comes Again

It comes again
The knowing
That every step has been taken
Where the step had to be taken
To evolve
And learn
To understand
Which parts need to be let go
And which ones to enrich
The knowing
That hard times are good times in disguise
And that good times are good times
That we drink in our own thirst
To feed the exhausting transformation
Of knowing
That within we are complete
And that within we are destroyed
Removing our integrity from the foundation
Until we are swept away
Into a soul-less place
We all have stories about

It comes again
Like lightening comes
Operatic and climactic
And embraced by nature’s silence
The feeling of alrightness
Call it faith
Or delusion
Only we really know
When it comes
When its alright
Again
And the worry of the day
Discloses its truth of impermanence
Again
The freedom of believing
The knowing
That what we feel
Is our life
And every consequence
Thereafter
That reflects our knowing to us
In sun or moon light
Whatever the contrast
The knowing glistens
In its own existence
Serving as a guide
To remember
The most spiritual of acts
I forget again as the day seeps out

It comes again
I remember
The knowing
Awakens
In the light of day

Ode to Jen and Andy

2005-09-20T17:12:00.000-07:00

An Ode to Jen and Andy

Let’s take a big breath
It’s the least we can do
To honor this moment
A breath that’s anew

Let’s fill it up with love
And let’s fill it up with grace
And exhale nice and long
And find the right pace

To love for a lifetime
The pace must be slow
For the race is now over
There’s nowhere to go

Except be where you are
With each other for life
And rest in his arms
And embrace your new wife

It’s all that you wanted
You were lucky to find
The reflection of love
In a smile so kind

To remind you who you are
And who you can be
Love is the mirror
That now reflects three

There is he, there is her
And the both of you bound
In body and in spirit
In vibration and in sound

The music you hear
In the back of your mind
So sublime and so sweet,
Is the melody you find

Your favorite jam
The peak moment in time
Is the one poetry speaks
With its meter and its rhyme

It falls off the tongue
When words have become
Vows that create
The song that you hum

It’s the music you can’t
Get out of your head
It’s the sound of your lover
The one that you wed

It’s the sound that’s most holy
The sound of the soul
The one you take home
Or take to the Knoll

So wherever you go
Be sure that you find
A heart with compassion
And some peace in your mind

To offer each other
When you are in need
The ingredients of life
Of which you will feed

Understanding and patience
Some courage and fun
Magic and wisdom
The moon and the sun

The cosmos have settled
Portal week is done
The moon of challenge almost over
The moon of service almost begun

As has your life together
In its infancy state
Of which you grow like all children
Into adults that relate

About challenge and freedom
Independence and space
The mundane and the worldly
That strange look on your face

That will inevitably come
When you forget to rejoice
The one that you love
The sound of their voice

The sound of that music
I mentioned before
The jam that was epic
That now has become lore

History and herstory
No matter the fact
You’ve given forever
In a mutual pact

To live and to love
And keep simple each day
And remember the words
Your heart wants to say

Only you speak the language
Your lover knows best
All the way from Chicago
You knew to come west

So that you would meet
And marry one day
With loved ones around you
For your love, we all pray

On this day you’ll remember
9-18 is the code
The day that forever
Began in an ode

A Day to Begin Again

2005-08-22T21:11:00.000-07:00

8/22/05 A Day to Begin Again

The words before me
Become evident and real
And today convince me
That a new day
To begin again
Is born

The evidence of a new cycle
Supported from every end of
Feeling and thinking
Experiencing and sensing
And I know I must celebrate
In ceremony
To lift higher
Than mundane mind

Here
I understand
As the smile lifts
The energy engages
The feeling of beauty
The knowing that all things
Begin and end in their right time
Traversing from tragedy to triumph
And back again
The story is written
As it is

New hope and new grief
Meet again in the space between
The moments that connect
Our narrative
To our hearts
Where life and death
Return to peace
When the alignment of time
Redeems itself
When tears and smiles
Coincide
To share the night
Filled with memories
Of beautiful moments
That I accept
So I may be free

To begin again
And not know

Where is the end?

Welcome to my blog!

2005-08-15T13:55:00.000-07:00

Ok, after much prodding by others to see some of my recent writings, I have finally put this unused blog to use, a year or so after it was initially created. Feel free to read and share, breathe and sigh, say silent or comment. I will try to keep this site somewhat updated with fresh material as it comes through me.

So bookmark my site and tell your friends. I am experimenting with what it feels like to not hoard my writings anymore, to give them the light they deserve. Lots of love and gratitude to all those that have helped inspire me and that continue to weave light in their own way.
Namaste,
Jonathan
JP
elfboy
or anything else you call me

Transcript for Chelsea and Zaq's Wedding

2005-08-15T13:40:00.000-07:00

Zachary Roberts and Chelsea Terrell Wedding

I would like to formally welcome you all to this day of ceremony and celebration. Both are rites of passage in their own way. So as we gather for ceremony, let us, together, create the necessary ingredients for this sacred time. One of the most vital ingredients is the supportive presence of community. So what we ask of you, friends and family, is to arrive in this moment with your full presence. Let me invite you all to let go of your individual stories and situations, and to begin to turn your attention onto these two beautiful individuals, Chelsea and Zachary. As we all turn and direct our loving and supportive attention on the bride and groom, we begin to tap into the reason we are all here.

Love has brought us here. She has done it again. She has allowed these two courageous individuals to see the truth of who they are, in each other. They have asked you here today to bear witness to the sacred vows they will recite in ceremony to each other. Vows that, through plain language, will sanctify this relationship and ground each person’s intention to this life long process of committing oneself to love, committing oneself to another. It will be this intention that Chelsea and Zachary, you will come back to over and over again. When times are good, when times challenge you, when you feel the magic of your first meeting, and when you don’t. You can count on times of every nature in this journey with love, and it will be these sacred vows that will be the foundation, the earthiness, your relationship will move from. The power of these vows is that they are timeless. They are unconditional. They encourage the natural and rightful order of change in our lives. They engrave our deepest longings to see ourselves and our other just as they are, with great compassion and deep acceptance. These words are our practice, to remember every time we forget, to open our heart every time we judge, to let be every time we try to hold on.

So Zachary and Chelsea, you are not just getting married today. You are committing to a lifetime of spiritual practice. This practice that you each take on has two components. The first shines its light on your relationship with yourself, to treat yourself with love, with compassion, and unwavering gratitude for all you are shown in this life. The second turns its brilliance onto your relationship with each other.
Through the seeds of your commitment to your own spiritual practice, your relationship will bloom with the strength and fortitude of two individuals living their own lives and living a life together. So I encourage you both to make time to practice opening yourself to love, both individually and together. Remember that you will forget. And if you do, you are always just a moment’s grace away from remembering the teachings of love. The great Sufi poet Hafiz put it this way:
The test of love is:
If it isn’t unconditional, it isn’t love

So I ask you all to take a moment and feel the reason you are here today. Feel the vibrancy of this love that stands before you. She is here today to teach us all something, and yet has chosen these two courageous disciples to continue her legacy of beauty, healing, and grace. She has brought these two together to support the foundation of love in our world. There are none more deserving and fit to take on this task than Chelsea and Zachary. Hours before Chelsea met Zachary for the first time, she wrote down in her journal “Universe, I am ready, send me my love.” And so I know these two believe not only, in the power of love, but the magic that it brings. Its capacity to make us laugh and cry, sometimes at the same time. It is irrational. You can not think it. You can only live it. And I have no doubts in my conviction that these two lovers are living it. We have felt it before, and we feel it now. This connection that goes beyond words, beyond thoughts. Love simply is. And it is here now.

As John and Paul told us once,
“Give the word a chance to say/That the word is just the way/It's the word I'm thinking of/And the only word is love”

Statements of Intent

Chelsea and Zachary, you have now spoken your sacred vows to each other in the presence of your community. These words will bind you to each other with intention and purpose. They will be the foundation of your relationship as you change, grow, teach, and learn with each other.

Now, please take a moment and look into each other’s eyes as I ask you both to consecrate your marriage:

Do you Zachary, choose Chelsea, to be your wife and partner, to be your reflection of love’s truth, to be your mirror for care and compassion, in sacred times and in struggle, to be the lips you kiss and the body you embrace, from this day forward?

Do you Chelsea, choose Zachary, to be your husband and partner, to be your reflection of love’s truth, to be your mirror for care and compassion, in sacred times and in struggle, to be the lips you kiss and the body you embrace, from this day forward?

Ring Exchange

Zachary, please place this ring on Chelsea’s fourth finger of her left hand and repeat after me:

With this ring
I pledge my heart
My mind
And my soul
To the life of us

Chelsea, please place this ring on Zachary’s fourth finger of his left hand and repeat after me:

With this ring
I pledge my heart
My mind
And my soul
To the life of us

Proclamation of Marriage

Zachary and Chelsea, your love has been formally bound together in sacred vow and with the ritual exchange of rings. Your love will always be held by your family, your friends, and by the legacy of the spirit of love. Your private love may now be declared in public. Friends and family, it is my deepest honor to declare to you all for the first time, Chelsea and Zachary Roberts.

Kiss

You may now seal your union with your first kiss as husband and wife.

Ode to Toby and Kathleen

2005-08-15T13:39:00.000-07:00

Ode to Toby and Kathleen

The time is here
The crowd arrives
A day of pure love
To remind us of lives

The ultimate reflection
Love sees who you are
She sees when you’re near
And when you’re afar

She hears what you say
And the words that you choose
And listens to your longings
And stories in the news

Today’s top story
Toby and Kathleen are it
They are celebrating their love
Their hearts’ charm and heart’s wit

They knew in their bones
This was the right fit
For their minds to relax
And hearts to stay lit

With the fire and light
That takes us through time
That keeps spirit ablaze
With aromas of sweet wine

It is this delight that we drink
As we surround the couple we know
Either as a friend or as family
With stories in tow

That remind us who they are
And who they have been
And why we gather together
And make sure that they win

The prize of the day
Matrimony for two
A Caldwell and Gaine
And a moment anew

With intention and purpose
For a life lived together
For a commitment with spirit
To traverse any weather

Whether there’s rain or dark clouds
Or a drought just the same
Stay steady in your gaze
And pride in your name

For you are who you are
And that’s exactly the point
And it has brought you a life
You will share now as joint

Husband and wife
New roles which to fill
So take it slow
As you climb up that hill

Towards the prize of your dreams
Love will carry you there
So respect what she teaches you
Of compassion and care

And see all the faces
That see you today
Each connected to the sun
Each smile a ray

Of heat and warmth
And incredible light
Enough which to spark
Your love in the night

When it’s only you who see
What together you made
The vows you will make
That never will fade

Alive each day when you
See your eyes bright
Reflecting the other
This moment is right

To pass the torch
And put on a show
To seal the deal
From which you will grow

This life now is yours
Take it and go
And join in the magic
Your union will sew

So feel yourself now
You have come oh so far
The moment’s upon us
To shine like a star

Take a breath, breathe it in
And feel your feet on the ground
Simply a life together
Is where you are bound

So relax in your bones
Unburden your load
And enjoy yourselves
And remember this ode

For you it was written
In plain black and white
An ode to Toby and Kathleen
Never felt oh so right

Completion

2005-06-30T13:46:00.000-07:00

6/30/05

Completion
The spokes of the wheel
Continue its turn through the ages
In the center lies the feeling
Thick and sturdy,
The hub from which all else touches
And reaches out
To the events and people
Adventures and tasks
The fiery ball in the heart
Leaving ashes in its wake
Its tendrils unwind
Disconnect
Lose familiar form
As the next karmic twist
Sits on her perch
And begins a new song

Every time a new song forms
I feel unsure
My conditions question themselves
Is that the rhythm we like?
That melody needs work I think
Faster or slower
new songs never seem quite right
and I am lost
in a moment unlike one I have known before
just like so many I have known before
I catch myself singing this new song
Although truth be told
I don’t actually know the words yet
That’s how it goes I guess
We mutter in our own garbled imagination
Till the truth emerges with its gleaming light
To show us once again
The blindness we love to romance

So for now I rejoice in the blindness
Only the nostalgia of this romance eclipses this
This short filled joy
Darkened by the deviance of the doubtful heart
But comforted in the endless doubtful hearts
Aplenty in our neighborhood
Where minds and hearts are no longer separate
And we see what feeds our thoughts
Feeds our hearts
The food chain of the soul
Decomposing into the actions of our day

So I must choose with care
Where attention goes
With it my life follows
And the transmission of peace is born again
In my body
In my breath
Just this moment
I feel complete

After the End

2005-06-12T13:45:00.000-07:00

6/12/05 After the End

Before I begin
The reconstruction of my thoughts
My body’s energy
My life’s own circuitous geometry,
There must be space
The rightful space to end.

The end rhymes with the rituals it needs
To express its own closure for itself
To shed the skins it has grown to cover
The vulnerabilities of this time
To unleash what I always wanted to believe
That destiny meant loneliness
And being meant shame
Goodbye for now my children
For you have walked me to the edge
Where I can now fall
Into the mysteries of authentic love
And compassionate infinity
Where I can trust
I will be kept afloat
In an invisible web
That attaches the writer to reader
And student to teacher
Passed on through time
The same message
Forget what you know
And remember nothing
And feel
Feel
Feel this moment
This life in time
This body in space
Feel yourself
And embrace
All that is
And you will meet
The truth

Do not worry about what it means
Do not try to understand how your life will change
Do nothing with it
And let its own medicine provide that very thing you never told anyone you needed
Allow your own blood to wash yourself clean
And dictate the diet your soul needs to grow

You have arrived my son
You have arrived at the end
And you wonder what comes next
As with every death comes a birth
And with each cycle
The space
In between
After the end
Before the Beginning
You have arrived my son
Be who you have always been
Breathe the same breath you have always breathed
And close the same eyes who have seen everything you have seen
This is yours
This is yours
This is yours

Its ok
You can let go now
The end is here

Everything Changes

2004-12-12T13:52:00.000-08:00

12/12/04

Everything changes
Does not remain the same
Life rips
It breaks
It falls apart
Homes become houses
And houses homes
When the changes sweep through again

Everything changes
Does not remain the same
Life cracks
It loses stream
It goes missing again
Time becomes decisions
And decisions time
When the changes sweep through again

Everything changes
Does not remain the seam
Life gasps
It takes a pause
It spins itself around
Attachments become grief
And with grief, new attachments
When the changes sweep through again

Everything changes
Does not remain the same
Life stumbles
It veers off course
It disconnects itself
Disorientation becomes dissolution
And dissolution disorienting
When the changes sweep through again

Everything changes
Does not remain the same
Life leaves
It revolves
It is left hanging
Anticipation becomes emptiness
And emptiness anticipation
When the changes sweep through again

Everything changes
Does not remain the same
Life dies
It gets transmuted
It waits
Change becomes opportunity
And opportunity changes things
When the changes sweep through again

Everything changes
Does not remain the same
Life speaks
It urges
It is a witness
Ideas become actions
And actions new ideas
When the changes sweep through again

Everything changes
Does not remain the same
Life turns
It is slippery
It dares
Faith becomes doubt
And doubt faith one more time
When the changes sweep through again

Everything changes
Does not remain the same
Life breathes
It inhales
It exhales
Silence becomes birth
And birth silences
When the changes sweep through again

The noble and eternal law
Everything changes
Does not remain the same

An Ode to Love-Thanksgiving 2004

2004-11-25T13:50:00.000-08:00

An Ode to Love-Thanksgiving 2004

An ode to love
Is an ode of care
Of you and me
And all who dare

To surrender our selves
To the very core
And hear Mother Love’s
Mighty mighty roar

She wants us to know
She is here and alive
She is here when we let go
Amiss when we strive

To know her more
And feel her glow
We must be patient
And always slow

The choice is ours
In this moment or that
To be thankful for each other
For our dog or our cat

She makes our decisions
She even makes us wait
And when we forget her
She hides between hate

Waiting for us
To remember again
She is alive in our hearts
On the couch, in the den

Reclining in rest
Tired from the fight
Of our eternal struggles
Between what is wrong and what is right

She sees us with compassion
And forgives the mind
Who makes all the excuses
For not being kind

With excuses we age
And with love we get young
The right words that explain
Simply fall off the tongue

Love is eternal
The never ending glory
The spirit that heals us
In every life, every story

We are the same in this way
Connected, a team
So love we thank you
For providing the dream

Of a world with less war
And a little more huggin
A rope we can hold together
With a little less tuggin

She advises we think
And that we believe
That love is a choice
Some suffering to relieve

So drink and eat
Till your plenty full
She’ll make more
Without a push or a pull

‘Cause she comes from the source
Where we all take a dip
And the moment arrives
To take our first sip

Of her wine, like our blood
It flows till no end
We look all around
And reflect the word friend

So we thank you today
For what you have taught
By eating the food
That all your friends brought

So find some love
If you have some to spare
And speak its gospel
And play the game fair

Say what’s in your heart
Don’t hesitate no more
You are here now
Just open the door

Post-Coventry

2004-08-26T13:49:00.000-07:00

8/26/04 The Meander

The muted dusk light gave way to the inevitable and needed reflections
Not just of a previous week, but innumerable weeks
Filled with the music that called my name
When my frozen family finally splintered
Into fibers of new life

My walk slows and becomes a meander
And I notice the shapes of the many rocks under my feet
For I veered off the path in a rare maneuver
Leaving me to see something new in the familiar trees

The meander meant that I went nowhere
Foot over foot, missing the step I thought I would take
It was all very different
And I knew that
And that was the point
The difference
The loss
The music
The container
For the awakening

The nonsensical soundtrack that penetrated me
Like interstitial fluid
Becoming me
Recreating me
In the way I knew
Was right
In the silent confusion
I knew
I believed
It was right

My body knew
Was summoned to move in
This regal flow
Deconstructing grief
Into beauty
Back into grief
So as to finally reveal it
as the same tear

The tear of the triumph
And the tear of the death
born from the same eye
That can now see itself
That sees a future in a different tone

Movements of the awakening
Letting go and grabbing onto
Openness
Left in the mud
By worn feet

The silence inside must ruminate
And take its time to emerge
Tears displace the time
And the gratitude swells
Mobilizing the beautiful grief
To be the leader once again into
Newness

Dedication to the Awakening

2004-07-24T13:48:00.000-07:00

7/21/04
Dedication to the Awakening

The fire light is lit low this evening
Resisting its own inevitable journey to extinguish
And begin again the light that has been lit for years
Since the awakening

Waking up always leads to falling asleep
I feel as if I should know this by now
The obvious truth that befalls each day
Waking up each day is never as easy as falling asleep
I am both comforted and disturbed by this

The day comes easier though
Than the days where light was a threat
To be seen in all uncompromising grief
Until the night
Where the music saves the soul who surrenders
Returning the night her grief
In return for sleep

Night has shared her grief with others
And let me live the day
To let others live the day
And I can finally relax
In love
With the only woman who could
Steal my grief from the night
And do what only the night could do before
To defy my own assertions of a life alone
The songs the night would sing
They always told me
What I now know
In my heart

As I relax
I edge upon the real emptiness
The emptiness only one can know
When they are loved
When the soul makes its next mission
Echo in sounds barely audible
Quiet moments do not reveal the message
Of what the new fires will expose
when fire lights so low, extinguish
and there is nothing to return to
but the words of the awakening
and the dedication
exhumed in the fire light
of the night of songs

To reestablish and reveal
the music of the nights

And prepare the fire light
To blaze with Spirit
When the night falls
To return her grief

So I may accept
What is rightfully mine
To share with the world

The return (Saturn)

2004-02-11T13:54:00.000-08:00

2/11/04

You have returned
It is your time
To find the place in the cosmic garden you have known once before
It seems such the familiar
Your ringing defines time with a new tone
Full of what creates you
It is this you will pass onto
The unsuspecting
Or suspecting
Soul
That has made the choice
To confront the squeeze
And purging of generations’ masks
Masks hiding your truth as another’s
Masks obscuring your beauty with another’s
Masks covering this raw layer of flesh
Not too unlike a newborn’s velvety touch
You have seen this young one before
And demand that his skin return to form
But show age in bones articulating themselves
These same bones anchor your life
When nothing else will
Bones to hold the weight of Saturn
Bones to bear the breadth of his wings
Bones to sustain the asanas of balance
As muscles follow the change you teach
In every aspect, in every cell
You will find yourself
And be forced to accept what you find
Despite the wind and rain
Or winter’s days of sunny illusions
You will not know what to expect
And you can not think it will go by like you once knew
Awake in a new bed with old sheets
And you will have to walk with blind steps in hallways
Leading towards the ruins of paradise
Where you will find exactly what you need
To burn out what has become poison to your mind
You know of this poison,
Doubling as food when you knew nowhere to turn
Fear shattering your well-intentioned thoughts
Into shards of maybes and why’s
Where you move so slowly
Losing your mind
And finding your heart

This is the language of suffering
And you speak it with grace
Because you know how to survive
To take your basic pulse
And create a life
To accept this new death
As the sacred blessing
You have waited your whole life
To confront
With whole-hearted fury
The inimitable paradox where transformation is birthed
The moment where nonsensical rapture lets you know
You are crazy
Because you have made a choice to stand in the midst of the fire
Sitting in serenity
Like the Buddha
Burning and burning
And burning again
What you need to purge
To leave behind in the flames of spirit
The clothes that no longer fit
You will know when to walk out of the fire
The winds will come if you believe
That they too have their time to blow
You will know this time,
You will hear this time
You must not wait for this time
You must forget about what will save you
And burn with holy tears
The mask you never wanted

So breathe the breath that will feed you
And nurture the body that will carry you
From the fire to the Earth itself
And teach the mind what it needs
To cleanse itself
And make space for the teachings
You will speak of with ease
When you arrive from your return.